Saturday, October 31, 2009

THIS SAYS IT ALL


RIVER PHOENIX


The rising star died on this day in 1993 from a drug overdose at the age of 23.
Young and strong Hollywood son In the early morning light This star fell down On Sunset Boulevard - Natalie Merchant

LEE GRANT


Grant was born Lyova Haskell Rosenthal in New York City on this day in 1927. Mess loved her in Valley Of The Dolls as the penny pinching, lasagna making Miriam Polar.

Friday, October 30, 2009

GRACE SLICK


Shown here with the late Janis Joplin, Grace Slick turns 70 today. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Slick

RAMON NAVARRO


Born Jose Ramon Gil Samaniego in Durango, Mexico, silent screen star Ramon Navarro was tortured and killed in his Hollywood, CA home by two brothers he had hired from an escort agency on this day in 1968. He was 69. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramon_Navarro

LINDA STEIN


The real estate broker to the stars and former manager of The Ramones was murdered in her New York City apartment on this day in 2007. She was 62. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linda_S._Stein

Thursday, October 29, 2009

GABRIELLE UNION


Happy 37th birthday!

ANTON LAVEY


The founder of The Church Of Satan died on this day in 1997 at the age of 67.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A PAID WORD FROM ONE OF OUR SPONSORS


SURREAL ESTATE: THE TUBERCULOSIS COTTAGES


Constructed in the early 20th century, the small stucco and red tile roof structures originally served as sleeping quarters for tuberculosis patients at Grace Lutheran Sanitarium. Today, 12 of the original 26 cottages remain, thanks to the efforts of Dr. Chris Johnson who endeavored to save them from demolition in the 1990s. In 1993, the cottages were converted to use as the Village of Hope for the Center for Children with Developmental Disabilities - now known as the Center for Hope for Child Development located at Christus Santa Rosa Children's Hospital. The cottages are located at the northwest corner of El Paso Street and S. Zarzamora.

EDITH HEAD


Motion picture costume designer Edith Head was born on this day in 1907 in Searchlight, Nevada. Head holds the record for the woman who won the most Oscars in history. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edith_Head

DORIS DUKE


The eccentric tobacco heiress passed away on this day in 1993 at the age of 80. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doris_Duke

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

MESS IS TAKING A MENTAL HEALTH DAY


We'll be back tommorrow, full force. Promise.

Monday, October 26, 2009

HATTIE MCDANIEL


The first black performer to win an Academy Award (Best Supporting Actress, Gone With The Wind, 1939), Hattie McDaniel passed away on this day in 1962 at the age of 57 from breast cancer. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hattie_McDaniel

HOLLY WOODLAWN


Holly Woodlawn (born Haroldo Santiago Franceschi Rodriguez Danhakl today in 1946) is a transexual and former Warhol superstar, who appeared in his movies Trash (1970) and Women in Revolt (1972). Her life was summarized by Lou Reed in his song "Walk on the Wild Side":
Holly came from Miami FLA, / hitch-hiked her way across the USA, / plucked her eyebrows on the way, / shaved her legs, and then he was a she...

Sunday, October 25, 2009

ADAM PASCAL


Happy 39th birthday to Adam Pascal, shown here with RENT co-star Rosario Dawson.

DEAR MESS, MY STAFF'S IN DISTRESS


Dear Wide Chareleston Mist,
As a prominent hotel owner in the San Antonio area (The Horshoe Road Inn On Fredericksburg), I am committed to employee morale. Accordingly, I have had a "Suggestions and Questions Box" prominently located behind the furnace in the boiler room for about 4 years now. I'll be damned if the staff hasn't recently found it. Now I have to reply. I thought I'd come to the font of all wisdom for assistance. Here they are:

1. Is it ok for me to help myself to the breakfast buffet set up for a conference if no one at the conference is eating? Only after all the conference attendees have all left the room. Then go for it. It's a sin to waste food. Remember to share with your co-workers, of course.

2. My cowoker left her paycheck stub at the front desk when her shift ended. Was it ok for me to look at it? Only if she makes LESS than you. But seriously, no, it's tacky. How would YOU feel if somebody did that to you? Shitty, I bet. Your salary should never be discussed with anyone other than your boss.

3. As a joke, the valet has been sending anonymous love letters to one of the housekeepers who takes them seriously. Everyone is enjoying the prank so should I expose it? This is awful. Love starved maids have killed themselves over less. You should be ashamed of your self. That valet needs to be fired, or worse. And those that are enjoying the prank are sociopaths.

4. Each morning when my shift starts, Mr Massengill welcomes me with a big, lingering hug followed by a fanny-grab. I'm not comfortable with this. Should I tell him? Good god, Mr. M, how many lawsuits do you need to be involved in? Cool it.

5. I found a neoprene c*ck ring in a room after the guests checked out. Can I keep it? Absolutely. It would be embarrassing for you to try to return it. I'm sure the guest is embarrassed that he left it. Please clean it before you use it. Then go take care of that housekeeper.

VINCENT PRICE


left us on this day in 1993. He died at 82 of lung cancer.

SUNDAY'S MESSAGE


Saturday, October 24, 2009

A PAID WORD FROM ONE OF OUR SPONSORS



B.D. WONG


Happy 49th birthday to the multiple award winning stage and screen actor B.D. Wong.

ROSA PARKS


The civil rights pioneer Rosa Parks passed away on this day in 2005 at the age of 92.

Friday, October 23, 2009

SLAP YA MAMA SUING PUNCH YA DADDY


LAFAYETTE, La. -- The Ville Platte company that makes "Slap Ya Mama" Cajun seasoning has slapped a lawsuit for trademark infringement on an upstart spice company marketing under the name "Punch Ya Daddy." In related news, "ya granny's a crack ho" is suing "ya uncle's a tranny" and "ya sister cooks crank" is merging with "ya uncle sells heron", while "ya sister works the rack" and "ya daddy is your cousin" have declared chapter 13 bankruptcy. "ya brother did a donkey" however, is applying for a federal bail out.

FAMOUS SAN ANTONIO NATIVE- GUESS WHO


Hurry! See if you can beat Chiflado to the answer!

ANG LEE


Happy 55th birthday to the director of Brokeback Mountain.

SAN ANTONIO IS NUMBER ONE (AGAIN)


Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke might think the country is out of the recession, but unemployment is rising from Connecticut to California and banks are taking possession of a growing share of American homes. But some metros across the nation have managed to stay out of the recession's path and could now be poised for recovery. Using data and analysis from the Brookings Institution's new MetroMonitor study, BusinessWeek.com ranked the nation's top 40 economies based on job growth, employment, economic growth, and home prices. And Texas seems to be the clear winner with San Antonio at the top of the list and five metros in the top 10.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

CATHERINE DENEUVE


Born today in Paris in 1943.

CLEAVON LITTLE


Passed on this day in 1992 from colon cancer. He was 53. Here's a pic of him in Blazing Saddles.

A FRIENDLY REMINDER FROM THE GIRL SCOUTS


Thanks to Cris Burke of Joshua Tree, Ca.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

SAN ANTONIO'S OWN: JESSE TREVINO


The exhibition title is inspired by a work, Mi Vida, which was recently rescued from demolition by art collector Cindy Gabriel. Trevino painted the monumental mural on the wall of his bedroom while recovering from war injuries sustained in Vietnam. This exhibition will be the first time the mural is seen by the public. Jesse Trevino: Mi Vida will be comprised of approximately 50 paintings, including two works from the collection of the Smithsonian American Art Museum, 20 works on paper, as well as ephemera documenting Trevino's life. 10/22 - 2/28/2010 at Museo Alameda. http://www.thealameda.org/

CARRIE FISHER


Born today in 1956. Best known perhaps for her StarWars role as Princess Leia, Mess adores her for her caustic over the top writing in Postcards From The Edge and her latest work, with one of the best titles ever, Wishful Drinking.

JACK KEROUAC


A major player in the Beat movement, Jack Kerouac passed away on this day at the age of 47 from cirrhosis. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Kerouac

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

GET KINKY IN KERRVILLE


The gubernatorial candidate will be reading from his latest book, Kinky Friedman's Celebrity Pet Files, on October 23 from 4 to 6 PM at Wolfmuellers Books, 229 Earl Garrett Street, downtown Kerrville. There'll also be a question and answer session afterwards. For more info call 830-257-7323.

TOM PETTY


Happy 59th birthday!

SHIRLEY HORN


The Grammy winning jazz pianist and vocalist passed away on this day in 2005. She was 71.

Monday, October 19, 2009

CAPTION THIS!!!


Thanks to our good buddy Thaddeus for this picture. Now, dear readers, leave a caption for it in the comments below.

MR. BLACKWELL


Oh, how celebrities dreaded winding up on Mr. Blackwell's 10 Worst Dressed List. On this day in 2008, they could finally stop worrying, as Mr. Blackwell passed on at the age of 85.

JENNIFER HOLLIDAY


Happy 49th birthday to Houston, Texas native Jennifer Holliday. To Mess, there was, is, and will always be only ONE Effie White. You're looking at her.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sczOaomiDzY

Sunday, October 18, 2009

ANITA O'DAY


Jazz Critic Will Friedwald has said “When you think of the great jazz singers, I would think that Anita is the only white woman that belongs in the same breath as Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, and Sarah Vaughn". Born on this day in 1919, the "indestructible" singer lived to the age of 87, despite a long time struggle with heroin addiction. O'Day died in her sleep on Thanksgiving Day in 2006. There's an excellent documentary on her - "Anita O'Day - Life of A Jazz Singer".

DEE DEE WARWICK


Dionne Warwick's little sister passed away on this day in 2008 at the age of 63.

SUNDAY'S MESSAGE


Saturday, October 17, 2009

DEAR MESS, WE GOT RATS IN THE CELLAR


Cara Blanca Cocoa Chaos,
I got rats in the cellar, so to speak. actually, just mice, and I'm a vegetarian and I just can't bring myself to kill them with those glue traps so I bought some live traps, and then I find out it's against the law in my town to release live animals anywhere. but I can't stand them chewing all my stuff and I gotta get rid of them somehow. can I sue the store that sold me the live traps?
-Desperately Seeking Pied Piper
Dear DSPP,
First of all, did you try to simply return the traps to the store? And is this store located in your town? If so, the store owner should certainly be aware of local trapping regulations. I'd try for a refund before I got all Judge Judy on his ass. Now, regarding those four legged creatures. I will tell you a little story. Picture this, Brooklyn, NY, late 1980's. Mess and some crazy coke head opera singer chick are sharing an apartment. Don't ask. That's how the 80's were. One day we come home and the upstairs neighbor is on the front stoop going crazy. Asks us if we have mice in our place. Says he killed 12 in the last week. We say no, sorry, and go home and feed our two cats. CATS. That's the magic answer to your problem. Apparently, those 12 dead rodents stopped at his crib, one flight above ours, because they SENSED the presence of PUSSAY in our domain. Get a cat. If you are allergic, keep the cat in the cellar or outside. God created cats to kill mice. Lord knows they ain't all that good for much else. Also any terrier type dog will be an effective mouser. If none of this works for you, go down in that cellar and stuff up every possible entry point with steel wool - rodents hate steel wool as much as they hate cats. But, for true rodent control. there's nothing like the power of PUSSAY, baby. Good Luck!

WON'T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?


A sweet efficiency apartment is available next door to Mess. Come live in a celebrity building in a fabulous 09 location! http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/apa/1417650079.html

MONTGOMERY CLIFT


Born today in 1920, the actor died at his New York City home at the age of 46. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montgomery_Clift

ALBERTA HUNTER


The legendary blues singer Alberta Hunter passed on this day in 1984 at the ripe old age of 89. Mess had the honor of meeting Miss Hunter after one of her New York performances. She was truly one of a kind. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alberta_Hunter

Friday, October 16, 2009

SORRY GRANDMA, WE GOT PEOPLE TO KILL AND SPACE SHIPS TO DESTROY


For the first time in decades there will be no cost of living adjustment (COLA) for SSI recipients. Instead, Obama has proposed a one time $250 payment to all recipients. Just enough, most likely, for the SSI recipients to catch up on some late bills. Here's a little list of where Granny's money is going:
Aid to Afghanistan $7.5 Billion
Space ship that NASA crashed into moon $79 million
Total cost of Iraq War to date: $690,951,524,000.
Mess doesn't usually get "political" but this no COLA crap got us HOT. Thanks for working hard all your life, folks. Hope you can still afford a TV or a newspaper so you can watch where your money is going! Let's see if the people who work at SSI get a god damn COLA this year.

A PAID WORD FROM ONE OF OUR SPONSORS


LIBERACE


Passed away on this day in 1987 at the age of 67 from AIDS related complications.

ANGELA LANSBURY


Happy 84th birthday to the award winning stage, film and television actress.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

MARIO PUZO


The "Godfather" author was born on this day in 1920. He died in 1999 at the age of 79 in his home in Bay Shore, New York, about twenty miles from Gambino's former home.